Cellulite Ads

We’ve all seen them.  Pictures of women in swimsuits showing off their cellulite.  My question is this~what exactly did the casting call for these models read?  “WANTED-models who are thin, but have dimply thighs.  Must be willing to wear a swimsuit.  Shots will be from the waist down.”  How much do these gigs pay?  I need to know what agent I should contact to be a model.  I don’t have a lot of cellulite, but my inner thighs could be thinner, my stomach isn’t even close to flat, and I have no waist.  I would be more than willing to let it all hang out for shots that are from the neck down!

Wild Kingdom

I know my stories sound fake, but I swear I do not make these things up.  Last night (but still broad daylight)  I was walking the boys, Logan (mine) and Drifter (Meg’s) down Spring Creek.  There are several cul-de-sacs (which I think is actually culs-de-sac, but that sounds odd and I am not saying it;  just know that I know that is the correct way) that back up to Spring Creek.  They only have houses halfway around so there is an open space where you can see down the streets.  I saw the top of a furry head, assumed it was a cat & prayed the boys wouldn’t see it.  I knew there was no way I would be able to hold both of them back.  As we got closer I realized it was not cat.  It was FOUR, yes, FOUR raccoons walking down the sidewalk together.  They were all but holding hands and skipping.  Logan saw them and then they saw the 150 lbs. of dog being walked in their direction & quickly jumped in the gutter one after another.  He was not sure what they were or what to do & he got excited, but that was about it.  I am so glad Drifter did not see them, but am thankful that his shear size was intimidating.   At this point, if I saw a bear on a unicycle in my neighborhood I would not be the least bit surprised.

Recovery

Well, the glue came off my arm and the scar is SO much better than the Frankenstein gash I thought it would be.  Yeah Dr. Madsen!  He told me it would not be bad, but the glue was very misleading.  I am now putting mederma on it everyday & rubbing it down so it won’t be a raised scar.  However, that seems like a moot point since my arms are so skinny the plate sticks up out of my skin.  My limbs are about the only skinny things on my body, so while I am thankful for them, I could live without a plate sticking out of my arm.  I am sicked out by the little bit of stitch sticking out of the bottom of the scar.  I need that to dissolve ASAP. 

My mom sent me some pics of the dogs she took while she was here.  I am posting one of them.  I am clearly drugged up and passed out on the couch & all of the dogs are lying next to me.  Logan with his arm around Dallie is so sweet.  He is just completely smitten with her.

Fun at the Creek

Lilly has always been a swimmer. She has loved to get in water since the first time I took her to the lake.  Logan, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with it.  I was convinced something was wrong with him because boxers love to swim.  While I was in a sling & Donna was walking Logan, she took him to the creek & made a water lover out of him.  He does not like to get in deep water like Lilly & swim, but he loves to splash around & fetch sticks.  Here are some pics she took yesterday.  You can see him trying to block Lilly from the deep water in one because he won’t go to “the deep end.”  He even tried to climb on her back & ride on her while she swam.  He is such a stinker.  I am waiting for the day that he is an almost perfect angel like my Lilly…

Burglary

This morning my “sweet” Logan was going crazy when he saw my neighbor, Donna, out the window.  My animals adore Donna.  If they had to choose between us, I’m not so sure they would pick me.  I went downstairs to give Donna a meal I had bought for her since she so gracously walked Logan while I couldn’t.  I am standing in the driveway in my pjs, which is not unusual for me, and Logan is jumping up and down against the door.  I turn to walk in the house & discover that Logan has locked me out.  He paws at the door while he is jumping and it locks the deadbolt.  This is not the first time this has happened, so I ask Donna to borrow her key to my house.    It still won’t open…today he took it a step further and locked the top lock which has no key.  So, I borrow Donna’s ladder and break into my own second story window.  Logan is going crazy and I have to throw treats (borrowed from who else, Donna) into the house to get him away from the window.  Lilly starts eating them so I am throwing them in two different directions to get both dogs out of my way.  I then pull myself with my good hand through the window and shimmy into my house.  I really should have my own reality show.  That is not the first Lucy/Ethel stunt Donna & I have pulled.  I would love to make some money off people gawking at my crazy life wih the boxers!

reporting for duty!

i worked two glorious days this week & they were both amazing tanning days.  i LOVE the sun   i am frozen on the tower rotation since i can’t jump in to rescue anyone, but that is better than nothing.  there is a new “karen rule” which states that no one is allowed to complain without talking to me first.  i am the epitome of lifeguard dedication, going back so soon & with my frankenstein scar.  today half the rides in the park were closed because of a pump being broken, but it was still packed! 

my two double takes today~a woman walking around in a bathing suit and her police ankle monitor and a girl in a two piece who had something tattooed on her belly right above her bikini.  i would love to tell you what it said, but because her belly was hanging over the bathing suit i couldn’t read it…

scar

my unpictured hand is at the top of the picture

well peeps, i went to the doctor today & the scar was revealed!  it is not too bad, only 2 inches, BUT i am ready to mederma it away.  i will make a full recovery & get 100% of my mobility back, yea!

bored…

well, it has been a week since my surgery & i am b-o-r-e-d.  i am so sick of my hand aching & being tired from my meds.  i get my soft cast & stitches out thursday & my parents are going home.  they keep telling me they will come back, but even if it is hard~i am ready to be alone.  i so appreciate them coming to stay and help me, i don’t know what i would have done without them.  i am just used to being alone & not having to explain why i do things the way i do them & i am ready for that time to come!  i am not sure how much mobility i will have in my hand & that scares me, but it is what it is & i will deal with it.

the dogs are my constant companions right now & they all sniff my wrist daily.  they follow me around all day; it is very sweet.  my neighbor has been walking logan & that has been a huge blessing because he is such a mess.  my dad walks the older girls, lilly & dallie, (she is the one i’m dogsitting) i refer to it as the geriatric walk.  they have grown up together & it is sad to see their aches as they age.  i have had several meals brought to the house & that has been a huge blessing & much appreciated.  i weighed yesterday & luckily have not gained any weight.  i can’t wait to start walking again, i feel like such a slug.  i’m about to watch last night’s bachelorette, so i am sure i will have many comments about that later!